Hey there! Pt. 2

Take off your shoes. Don't worry, this is dirt, but it's clean dirt. Like the Earth. The un polluted, pure parts of the Earth. Walking on this will actually make you feel better. So anyways, come on in, lonely soul. Yes, we have established the fact that you might not be a lonely soul. But if you are one of the rare people who have found their soulmate, please hold your tongue. You wouldn't want to offend your host? Especially since you are in the host. I mean in my brain. But here we are, and off we go once more on the tour.
So I know last time our goodbyes were a bit rushed and abrupt. What can I do? Management had a fit. Management was still so against having you over again. But what can I do? I had to.
So that's the path we took last time. This time, Management told me to lay out the rules before we went inside. I know, tedious. Anyways: just don't touch anything, ESPECIALLY A MEMORY, and keep to the path. Stick with me because trust me, you do NOT want to get lost in here.
So I thought I would take you to the Insomniac Sector. This is where I am when I can't sleep. You might find that this is covered with crazy colours, but that's just how it is. So come over here. You see this tube? It's like a tunnel but I don't think anyone can fit down here (even if you are skinny and small enough don't try it) but this is also the most unfortunate connection. This connects my brain to my legs. In other parts, similar hollow tubes connect my legs to those other parts. So basically, when I can't sleep, I get this urge to move my legs, hence the tossing and turning. Moving on, we can see over here how the Bad Memory Sector is linked to this part too: every stupid and cringy thing I may have done or said is revisited and re-evaluated. As you can see: the Over-Analysing Sector is also connected. The Fear of The Unknown and The Fear of the Near Future are also located behind that black box. The Fears are actually part of this Sector and we just provide connections when they are required in other Sections or in other times. I can't open this black box in your presence. I'll tell you what it contains: an overwhelming concentrated colour fusion. Opening this will keep you awake for hours, until you feel as if you are loosing yourself and your soul into this. After that the Colours will trick you into the Void. Here, the Void will strip you of your identity and defence. The Void will strip you until you are raw and bare and then it will target you with everything you have ever avoided or defended yourself against. You think you're so smart that you can just choose to not go into the Void? Do you not know of the sinister nature of these colours, enticing you with their ways, luring you in into a seemingly merry world and then… The Void. Many a man has lost his sanity here. You remember when I took your coats at the door? I didn't just take your coats. I took away your material existence. So take a look at yourself. What are you? A bare soul. Vulnerable. So the only material existence here is the one that I possess. Nevertheless, let us continue!
Any questions? No?
Your sanity?
My sanity? You see, this is my brain. My brain is the guardian of my sanity. So yes, I have been in the void, and yes, I have survived it.
The insomniac Sector gets its own access to the Eyes. You know the little innocent light of the street lamps outside which slips in through the tired old curtains and dances on the ceiling? My brain stares at the light until it reaches the intensity of the Sun and becomes unbearable. Aah the connection with the ears: this is what makes me think that my brother breathing in his sleep sounds like a train going around in my head, whistling away in my ears.
This is the overall-over sensitivity of the entire body: usually, I can sleep anywhere no matter how hard or soft it is. But in insomniac times, the slightest bump feels like a huge knife trying to pierce my skin.
Over here, this is the Past and opposite this is the Future. I spend a lot of time inside these rooms. The space in between is (quite obviously) the Present but I guess during Insomniac times being in the present gives me anxiety, even though the anxiety is in anticipation of the future….
So here we are in the Conversation Room. Here I go through any conversations I may have had, online or offline, and think how I could've answered differently or said something wittier if only I had taken an entire insomniac night to think before I answered. Not that there's something wrong with what has been said. But what's an insomniac night without over-analysing and worrying about something completely useless and unproductive, right?

Anyways. I don't want you to start thinking you know everything about me or atleast about this Sector. There's lots that has been left unsaid. It's safer that way. That's the door right there, if you want you can leave, if you want we can have a coffee or something. It's up to you but I won't show you more. I think this is enough for this time.
So what do you say? Coffee or "Rab Rakhan"?

Of Traveling and Thoughts.

Entering Lahore after a long journey, Lahore welcomes you on the Mall Road with a big "Welcome to Lahore" sign, right next to the University of Vetenary Sciences, the first major landmark on the Mall. This is also the saddest part of the journey out of Lahore, as after that the Lahore City ends. However, when we left Lahore this time, we didn't take the Mall Road. We were on it, and we saw the High Court, the GPO, GC university, the town hall to name a few of the classic buildings. But then we went on another road, so I never saw the "Goodbye" sign opposite the Vet University. If we had, we would then have found ourselves in Shahdara, which although is not part of the Lahore city, but part of the District Lahore. After that comes the river Ravi, or what is left of it anyway. The Ravi is a rather historic river but is now dried up. In fact, in an old mazmoon I had read, the writer had declared the Punjab (Punj meaning five and aab meaning water i.e. Land of The Five Waters or Rivers) as having only four and a half rivers, meaning the Ravi was only half a river. If he had been alive now, he would have declared Ravi to be a canal instead of a river. (Or a collection of puddles)
Nevertheless, that is not why I had decided to write. As you may have guessed, I am travelling. And leaving Lahore is so hard! No matter where I may live, my heart shall forever be here, in this city. I have been reading a book on Lahore which is a little boring to read, but it is full of information and has only increased my love for the city.
However, our journey does not end at Lahore. We are going North, so hopefully the weather will be nice! I need a break from this heat and humidity!
Traveling is not an issue for me. But all those hours in a car, with my little brother!! I had had a nice breakfast in the morning just so I wouldn't have to eat during the journey, because that makes me feel sick. And just as we left Lahore, the brother decided to have some crisps. And the packet was opened. The smell filled the air. Already, I had been trying to not think about the air in the car and how everyone was breathing in this limited space. But then the smell!! Every breath I took seemed to take the smell inside, all the way into my gut where my breakfast lay ready to come out via anti peristaltic movements. However, I survived. Then came the chewing. Endless chewing with an open mouth: the one thing I cannot stand. I tried to tell him once but he ignored me. Never mind, I told myself. Think of something else. And now he put the packet away and started biting his nails!! The other thing I absolutely cannot stand! However, I could not loose my cool. If I did, the journey would be ruined, and I didn't want that to happen.
At this point I decided to check where exactly was Chitral Gol National Park because that is also a place I would like to visit someday. However, my mobile internet was not working. Perfect! This network never failed to disappoint me. At this point I decided to update my dear readers (that's you) with my current situation. And that's about it.
Another thing I don't like about trips like these is the inevitability of the need of the bathroom by the human body. Anyways. I might do a "Hey There! Pt. 2" while I'm in the car. Or I might not. The Motorway is the most boring road in this country!
Wish me luck. Remember me in your duas.
Until next time,
Rab Rakhan.

Hey there!

Hey there, lonely soul. Hello. Welcome to my mind. Well, maybe your not so lonely. Maybe you’re curious. Or you want to read something. Or you’re just bored. Maybe you’re here for the first time. Maybe you’re trying to judge me. Maybe you want to know me. Maybe you’re just trying to get through unread posts on your reader. 

Well, so here we are. In my mind. I’ll give you a tour, eh? I won’t take you everywhere. Just where it’s safe. And I don’t have to worry about you prying around, either. So go ahead. Picture my mind any way you want. Let’s go down this lane. 

I know, it’s dark. I don’t like a light in this part. And yes, it’s cluttered too. I don’t do much cleaning. Oh, you see that chute? Yeah. Sometimes the useless things get pushed down that thing and then they disappear. I don’t know where, though. Anyways, this is (as you’ve probably guessed) my memory. What? Oh, no no no, this isn’t all of it. This is just the Random Nice Ones room. See that baby there? She’s about seven or eight months old. She can only sit. You know what happened? I put her on a chair in the kitchen, and then rushed out for literally a milli second, but she had already squished the poor naked orange all over the chair and the floor. Oh yes that’s my mother and my chachi. They’re laughing, you see. Well, have a good look around. You’ll see her in all sorts of outfits and ages and cuteness. And her little sister too. Oh, see this brand new picture? Yeah. I haven’t met her physically for more than half a year now. But I saw this picture. Her most recent stage. She’s five now. 

Oh and this one? This was when she was about three months old. There was a big family gathering. Everyone was outside under the old majestic ber tree. I had to take her inside. I’m tired because I’ve been walking and trying to put her to sleep. She keeps waking up!

This isn’t her. It’s her little sister. I’m half sitting on the sofa and she’s sleeping on top of me. She was about four or five months. 

This is when she was born. I took that picture. Opening and closing her eyes as if already fed up of the world. And wow I had had so much gulabjaman that day! Nobody bothered to stop me, we were all so happy! And gulabjaman going all around. From my favourite shop too! 

Oh that? That’s the last day of my school. The short-haired girl with her back to you and a black bag in her hand is my best friend. 

This used to be our stray cat. But she ran away. Maybe she died, because she was so possessive about her place and never let any other cat here. She was the prettiest cat in the neighbourhood. She’d been living here ever since she was a kitten. And….

Anyways, this was another cat who used to live here but was scared away by the first one. Charlie. I taught him to play with a ball. He was mine, really. But then…. now he doesn’t recognise me. 

Let’s get out of here. The deeper you go, the more memories will come, the longer this post will be. Aah, this is the Negative Emotions Sector. Let’s just pass by quickly. It’s not that safe. Oh, those daggers? You thought “giving daggers” was just a phrase, did you? And that red and yellow paint? That’s just more of what people think is phrases but actually they’re not. Anyways, erm, ah! Let’s go into Random Thoughts Sector. Let’s climb up a tree. I wonder if we’re going to pass by another canal soon? Do I have a double chin? Is– I’m sorry. There’s a reason I don’t come here with visitors. (Is anyone still reading?) 

The Annoying Annoyances Sector. This is where you’ll probably find Justin Beiber, too. Moving on. 

Conflict lane? No. This way.

Oh the Nerdy Side. Yes I have been frequenting this establishment for some time now which is why it’s very organised. Let’s go before you start judging me😂.

Is it weird that right next to Nerdy Room is the Judgemental Sector? Well. It is. And it’s the closest room to the eyes. Take a peek through my eyes people…. why is everything green? Because I was staring at a field. And the Monsoon… so everything’s pretty fresh. I mean keep your eyes on the ground. No need to see the pollution in the air. So let’s get back to the Judgemental Sector. Well…. not much to see. I mean I am judging you all the time. There’s more to hear. Cover your ears. This way, please. 

Oh. I forgot this was where….. This is Grieving. Where I grieve. I guess Management knew you were coming. So it looks like this. I mean candles? And black sheets? Really, I need to have a word! This isn’t bollywood!! Until then, let’s turn here. Watch your step, please.

This is Impossible Conversations room. Where I have all the conversations which will never happen. What’s this now? Oh it’s a letter. From Management, to me? They could’ve just told me *opens letter* I mean what is it that they had too…. *continues reading* that they had to…. oh. *puts letter in the coat* you see how it’s so cold? It’s actually a blessing. Things can get quite heated here. But we like to keep it really cold here because often it’s quite hot outside. Well folks, the thing is, I would’ve loved to take you around more. But time’s running out and Management says the rest is “restricted”. What does that mean? Oh, look we’re in the Limited Vocabulary Sector! Erm, anyways, I don’t know how to, uh,….. keep walking here, uh, stop! 

Rab Rakhan.

*closes door awkwardly and vanishes from view*