It’s a battle keeping up with these word prompts. A battle with time. And my mind.
I have so much to study. And I want to read more, too. And I have to think about what I’m going to do with my life. Also, I’ve set unrealistic goals for the weekend (again) which shall go unfulfilled (again) and that shall leave me annoyed. It’s not my fault I only get one day off.
The mind has been whispering. Doubts, fears.
The mind is uneasy. Everyday is another battle. To keep that balance between thinking and not think.
I want to exercise. Mind, soul and body. I want to get up earlier and be productive. But that is not possible.
I want a change of routine. I want this endless road to bend. I want something that would excite me, something that would inspire. My words have been kind to me. Never do they leave the mind. I have been neglecting them, I know. They have been starting to get quite difficult of late. They, too, want a change of expression. Rebellious, ungrateful. They never even realise how much I do for them. However, I in turn must not be ungrateful. They are a blessing, they could be taken away any time. I must cherish them.
I can’t wait for the fog. Glorious, vague vapours encompassing everything and anything, without discrimination.
It is another battle to see the same people every day, to disagree on the same things, to put up with the same ignorance and backwardness and still be nice. Apart from family, and that too only the most direct relations, how much sooner one tires of human company than of anything else. Cats, independent, detached creatures, infinitely cleverer than us (Though only metaphorically).
It is also a battle to be good. Evil tempts you. No matter how much one tries to purify one’s heart, it will always remain contaminated. No matter how much you try, you have been too infected. It is a battle to be kind. Especially those who don’t deserve it. But God knows you’re a monster inside, and if you start classifying and judging people, He could call you out on it.
It’s a battle to be.
How sweet would it be to not be?
P.S. Do you think my blog has become a little too dull and dark lately? Do you even enjoy? I’d love to know!