Life update.

It’s a battle keeping up with these word prompts. A battle with time. And my mind.

I have so much to study. And I want to read more, too. And I have to think about what I’m going to do with my life. Also, I’ve set unrealistic goals for the weekend (again) which shall go unfulfilled (again) and that shall leave me annoyed. It’s not my fault I only get one day off.

The mind has been whispering. Doubts, fears.

The mind is uneasy. Everyday is another battle. To keep that balance between thinking and not think.

I want to exercise. Mind, soul and body. I want to get up earlier and be productive. But that is not possible.

I want a change of routine. I want this endless road to bend. I want something that would excite me, something that would inspire. My words have been kind to me. Never do they leave the mind. I have been neglecting them, I know. They have been starting to get quite difficult of late. They, too, want a change of expression. Rebellious, ungrateful. They never even realise how much I do for them. However, I in turn must not be ungrateful. They are a blessing, they could be taken away any time. I must cherish them.

I can’t wait for the fog. Glorious, vague vapours encompassing everything and anything, without discrimination.

It is another battle to see the same people every day, to disagree on the same things, to put up with the same ignorance and backwardness and still be nice. Apart from family, and that too only the most direct relations, how much sooner one tires of human company than of anything else. Cats, independent, detached creatures, infinitely cleverer than us (Though only metaphorically).

It is also a battle to be good. Evil tempts you. No matter how much one tries to purify one’s heart, it will always remain contaminated. No matter how much you try, you have been too infected. It is a battle to be kind. Especially those who don’t deserve it. But God knows you’re a monster inside, and if you start classifying and judging people, He could call you out on it.

It’s a battle to be.

How sweet would it be to not be?


Writing prompt: https://zoyakubra.wordpress.com/2017/09/23/october-writing-challenge/

P.S. Do you think my blog has become a little too dull and dark lately? Do you even enjoy? I’d love to know!

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A Wish.

In a land of absolute normalcy, and nothing out of the ordinary, there was a girl. A girl who was completely normal, ordinary. There she was, in class that day, the 20th of October. The professor droned on and on, but her fragile mind was on other unnecessary and unimportant things. The girl was nostalgic. With her heart split across three continents, this wasn’t an infrequent condition. There were smells she longed to inhale and voices she wanted to hear. There was a certain temperature of the air she wished was there.

She thought of waffles and shortbread. She thought of flavoured yogurt and freshly made finger fish. With beans. And sweet corn. And flavoured water.

She thought of a house that would be warm and comforting against biting cold winds. She thought of the maternal presence in that house. She thought of the last time she had hugged her. The way her short plump figure had completely encompassed her entire being in a split second. Perhaps she had not realised what she was to the girl. If she had, she would’ve held on longer. She thought of all those times she had woken up from unpleasant dreams to find a familiar, comforting snore gently rock her back to sleep. She thought of all the times she had been fussed on upon, the many summer holidays spent in ignorant bliss. The way her grandmother had tried to make the most of the every meeting, to somehow cover the distance of an entire continent.

She thought of a tiny bundle of joy, blessed with the most beautiful smile, barely a year old. She thought of her niece, the way she giggled when she was thrown in the air. The way her smile melted the hardest heart, the way she spread love and joy indiscriminately with just her presence.

There came to her mind an old, fragile-looking man too, with endless grace and dignity. A man who was a living miracle (literally). A man who was the most splendid example of resilience, hardwork, determination, and above all, will power. A man loved and respected by so many, but she considered herself so lucky to be loved by him. A man she looked up to, her grandfather. Countless times that old wrinkled face had smiled upon her, as if her insignificant being was actually the source of his pride. A brown face, sometimes appearing in her memory sitting in an intense Punjabi sun, other times laying on a pillow, sleeping in front of the fire, cozy against the frost outside that so many Punjabis yearned for but never experienced. Most of the times, though, he was either dressed in a three-piece suit, or a crisp shalwar kameez, actively pacing about, never a dull moment. The best storyteller.

There were other memories on this continent, some personal, others not as much. Her wandering mind, however, moved to another continent, one she had never been to, but which contained a piece of her heart. A family, more beloved to her than belgian chocolate, if chocolate was a scale. A family she hoped to see again, soon. But the prospects looked dim.

Finally, the third continent. The continent she currently found her physical being on. A land containing almost all her memories, some sweet, some sour. A land where she was thankful to still have some of the people she loved and cherished. Her paternal grandfather, a man with unwavering faith in Allah. The most patient man she had seen in her life. Born to be great. And that was what he had achieved. Though not as expressive as herself, he had loved them in his own way and shown it. She knew him by the words: bravery, wisdom, chivalry, gentlemanliness, discipline, tolerance and trust. A man of endless dignity and grace, a man she looked up to. A man was respected greatly and deeply by everyone. A man who taught how to respect, simply by showing it. A man who led by example.

She was still nostalgic. She wanted to have everyone and everything within her grasp. She wished it was so. But at the same time she knew she could not be ungrateful for all that God had already blessed her with. So, she said a quiet, heartfelt prayer and thanked Him for all the blessings she already had.

The bell rung. She was forced back to Earth.


This prompt came along at the right time.

Vacant Stares

The river, it flows

Reflecting images in its course

It gushes forth, every second

A new image

Images never seen by humanity

Images the river hides

Images. The rocks’ secrets.

Of everything that took place

But wasn’t ever seen by eyes

The eyes that

When witnessed miracles

Nature’s greatest

Blinked.

And turned away

Often looked down

At artificial screens

In the presence of Grandeur.

So nature, in revenge,

Feeling insulted

At something the Creator

of the moon created

Being rejected,

Took away their sights

So that they never saw

And all that remained

Were vacant stares


I know I’m not doing these prompts everyday, and BELIEVE ME I had some pretty cool ideas too, but I just didn’t have the time! Also, I love how they make me think! It’s so fun. If you haven’t tried this already, why don’t you check it out here? Also, I’m doing two different prompts at the same time. So you can check out the other one in the previous post.

Check this one out here:

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2017/10/01/october-writing-prompts/

A Lost Key

They say there is a land. A land composed entirely of thoughts, feelings, emotions and most importantly: words. They say there is a land where words flow in the streams, words accumulate in the oceans, words pour down with the rain. They say that the words are not hateful and full of spite, nor do they contain malice. It is a land full of clear intentions, crystal clear. They say it is a land where men and women are judged and respected based on their words and words alone. They say it is a land where people write and read and write and read. They say it is a land where respect is based on the quality of words, where nobility is expression. They say it is a land where people need not worry about careers and money and materials. It is a land for the creative. A land for expression. They say it is a land where words run free…. where there are no chains or borders or limitations in vocabulary. They say…

They also say it is a land amidst beauty and purity. They say the land is guarded against anything that could be potentially harmful. They say there is a high wall, electrocuting anything that threatens to invade. They say there is only one way to enter: a gate. The gate has long, iron bars, with gold spheres on top that glow. They say it is an extension of Jannah (Heaven). They say that on that gate is a single fragile-looking lock, made of white gold. They say the lock is actually deceit, it is the strongest lock there is. They say that the only way to enter is to unlock it with a key. And, that key is lost.

That is where my heart lies.

In a lost key.


Had a hard time with this post. I just couldn’t think of anything! Oh well. Here it is now.

Check out today’s writing prompt here:

https://zoyakubra.wordpress.com/2017/09/23/october-writing-challenge/

Moonlight Reflections

I don’t remember much, except for the feeling. I don’t remember much, except it was a perfect night, and a scent covered the Earth making me feel alive with every breath I took. Every time I inhaled, miraculous fresh air poured into my lungs, detoxifying the filthy city air, rejuvenating my very being. I don’t remember much, except that the world looked so petty and that somehow the Divine Presence felt so near, so comforting, so incredibly overpowering. I don’t remember much, but there may have been tears, not the kind that result from heartache, but the kind which purify your soul and leave you peaceful. I don’t remember much, but I know that the air had a chill, a welcome chill after such oppressive heat, and that although it was not cold but I must have been shivering. I don’t remember much, except that there was a moon, and there was moonlight, and that upon reflecting, it was petty what was plaguing me, and those moonlight reflections preserved my sanity.

(Fiction)


So I’m doing the October prompts now. Not regularly, but just to push myself to write more often.

Check it out here: https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2017/10/01/october-writing-prompts/

Mirrored 

God created everything in pairs. There has been a lot said on this subject, and I really have no right to add anything to this, given my lack of experience, knowledge and judgment. But the fact remains: I have been extremely intrigued and fascinated by this. Everything was made in pairs: to everything there is a mirror. The sky and the ocean, Rumi and Shams, the sun and the moon, even the adhaan. Imagine there is a peace and tranquil that has descended upon the Earth. The people are deep in slumber, the world is a new place. Not everything is allowed to be fully conscious during this period. Even the birds have been shushed lest they should distract what the true hearts try to seek in those wee hours. God has descended upon the lowest heaven. Never was there anything more touching than seeing a true believer turn to his true Master, even though the believer had been labelled as a kaafir by the people of the world, even though the believer had been labelled as a kaafir by his self. In such a delicate time, the silence is broken by a deep melodious voice:

Allah-o-Akbar Allah-o-Akbar 

The believer, no matter how cracked his voice may be, no matter how ugly it may sound to others, silently mutters: 

Allah-o-Akbar Allah-o-Akbar 

The two voices, so entirely different, received in such different ways, loved by different people, and yet, the words are essentially the same. The words of the Muezzin mirrored by the believer.

What is interesting to see here is that this concept does not remain only in His material creations, but extends throughoutho the universe. Even in the Qur’an. I had been listening to a video on a surah of the Qur’an, and the speaker had actually used the word “mirror”. The beginning of the surah was mirrored by the end. It was so beautiful, the works of Allah.

_____

I know, dear reader, I know. As much as I have disappointed you, believe me I have disappointed myself even more with my words. Perhaps this piece was written by my heart (but perhaps it was not) and my heart has a limited vocabulary as compared to my mind. If I could have written this piece in the order of which I thought it out, it would have had some organisation. But the thoughts came too quick, and as I started writing it out, they refused to stop. What I wanted to write about in the beginning, what my real inspiration was, somehow got lost during the process. Hence there is an abrupt change of subject. My initial inspiration was somewhat linked to my final inspiration, and the result is what you see. I’m still going to publish this piece. I have had too many drafts waiting but never making their way out. Perhaps the next time we see each other, I shall have something of substance to tell you. Believe me this old mind has all sorts of stories and thoughts waiting to be liberated. But they are often lost as soon as I try to confine them in the form of words. I realise that I have been blabbing for quite some time now… if you have read it all, thankyou. I get the feeling not a lot read my posts anymore. But oh well. 

Until next time,

Rab Rakhan!