An Apology

Hey there. Hello World. This is me, the Rock in the River.

I realise I’ve offended you. Not once, but many times. So here it is: my apology.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry you don’t like the way I do my hijab. I’m sorry for doing it while you straighten your hair. I’m sorry my cheeks are round, and I don’t have very visible cheek bones. I’m sorry I’m a size ten instead of an eight. I’m sorry I have acne. I’m sorry for flaunting my acne filled face infront of you WITHOUT foundation, for coming to terms with something I cannot control. I’m sorry for not having perfect eyebrows. I’m sorry for not living in your idea of beauty, for trying to accept myself as I am. I’m sorry for having teeth that are not perfect. I’m sorry for sometimes stammering as I get nervous infront of you and your piercing judgemental gaze. I’m sorry for having ideas and expressing them. I’m sorry for not falling into these traps laid by the system, for challenging that. I’m sorry for being the rock while you are the river. I’m sorry for not having expensive shoes. I’m sorry for liking things you do not think are cool. I’m sorry for not going to the branded colleges and schools that you go to. I’m sorry for valuing knowledge more than education. I’m sorry having different taste. I’m sorry for not being comfortable with artificiality. I’m sorry I’m not you. And I’m SO sorry it effects you all SO much.

But let me tell you: I’m not completely hopeless. I have some achievements to my name: I am not comfortable with myself. I do not like the way my face or body looks. I’m biased against ugly people. People that are unique. I’m trying my best to ignore the people and judge them by their skins. I’m trying to not appreciate actual beauty and talent. I’m trying not to be me. I’m trying, you know.

I’ve realised I have a long way to go, but until then,

Yours truly,

Thari.




Well, I really did not want it to be gloomy on my hunderedth post (yes that is a milestone for me!!) but the world gets stranger. The more we progress, the backwards we become. Someday, someone might see me (or you) for who we are, but that day is in a future very distant. Until then, let us stick together, you and I, us weird people who love one another for what we write and hold within ourselves, and not for how we look (or do not look like).

Atleast try to make a difference. Appreciate people. Appreciate yourself. Respect other people. And look around, there is not one ugly face. I’ve never seen an ugly human face, or any face that’s ugly!

Oh but what would you know, dear rock hiding behind a keyboard. What would you know of beauty or ugliness? What would you care? Stay in your own little bubble, interfere not in the ways of a world you do not understand, hide. The river is no place for a rock like you. You deserve to be shunned into the Earth’s belly.

Well, here I am still. I’m one for staying in the river, obstructing its course. I’ll not move and let you carry on with this absurd business! I’m not the only rock!

Advertisements