Life update.

/ thari

It’s a battle keeping up with these word prompts. A battle with time. And my mind.

I have so much to study. And I want to read more, too. And I have to think about what I’m going to do with my life. Also, I’ve set unrealistic goals for the weekend (again) which shall go unfulfilled (again) and that shall leave me annoyed. It’s not my fault I only get one day off.

The mind has been whispering. Doubts, fears.

The mind is uneasy. Everyday is another battle. To keep that balance between thinking and not think.

I want to exercise. Mind, soul and body. I want to get up earlier and be productive. But that is not possible.

I want a change of routine. I want this endless road to bend. I want something that would excite me, something that would inspire. My words have been kind to me. Never do they leave the mind. I have been neglecting them, I know. They have been starting to get quite difficult of late. They, too, want a change of expression. Rebellious, ungrateful. They never even realise how much I do for them. However, I in turn must not be ungrateful. They are a blessing, they could be taken away any time. I must cherish them.

I can’t wait for the fog. Glorious, vague vapours encompassing everything and anything, without discrimination.

It is another battle to see the same people every day, to disagree on the same things, to put up with the same ignorance and backwardness and still be nice. Apart from family, and that too only the most direct relations, how much sooner one tires of human company than of anything else. Cats, independent, detached creatures, infinitely cleverer than us (Though only metaphorically).

It is also a battle to be good. Evil tempts you. No matter how much one tries to purify one’s heart, it will always remain contaminated. No matter how much you try, you have been too infected. It is a battle to be kind. Especially those who don’t deserve it. But God knows you’re a monster inside, and if you start classifying and judging people, He could call you out on it.

It’s a battle to be.

How sweet would it be to not be?

Writing prompt: https://zoyakubra.wordpress.com/2017/09/23/october-writing-challenge/

P.S. Do you think my blog has become a little too dull and dark lately? Do you even enjoy? I’d love to know!

25 thoughts on “Life update.”

  4. Ahem…your blog is AMAZING. How can you call it dull? And dark? I love dark. It resembles the true reality of life.
    I’ve been trying to be productuve as well, can relate to most if it (my to-do list ➡ a list of dreams never coming true)…such a struggle! But hey your words (and we of course) are always at your side!
    Do as much as you can and don’t pressurise yourself and BREATHE.

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    • Awww THANK YOU for all this! Wow, you really made my day. I mean, the fear is always there (what if I turn tiresome?)
      And hey. We’ve all been there with the productivity thing😂
      And I am honoured to have you by my side.
      Thank you❤

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  9. Reading your posts, I have two things in mind. One is that I can relate. It’s something about the feeling. And the other is that I am in awe of your expression. For the things you are writing.
    And if I talk only about this one, from wanting to be productive to needing to be grateful, the relation with words and the world… the subtle things. I can see myself there. I think what I mean to say is that I really like your space. ❤ I hope you always keep creating the best.

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    • I don’t even know how to respond to this. I guess I’m gladdd, that you relate. When I started blogging I followed your blog because it inspired me. It inspired me to express in a way that I hadn’t payed much attention to, before.
      Thank you so much. As much as this phrase is cliched, I am thankful to you, for not only inspiring people but motivating them too. And this touched me — like REALLY touched me.❤️ Here’s to the many of us who create and go unnoticed, who give their best only to be neglected, but who are, eventually, the best gems❤️ I don’t know about myself, but you sure are one of the rarest gems❤️ stay blessed, always.🌸

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