The Prayer 

She gasped. Acres and acres of green land. Not a person in sight. She stood there for a second, marvelling at the scene, eyes full of wonder. She had not been expecting anything of this sort when she took the turn for the Masjid. It lasted only a few seconds though. Then she did her wudoo and headed for the prayer room. 

Two rows of prayer mats. Women standing in prayer. Some were in rukoo, others in sajda. She let the atmosphere sink in. Her heart melted. Days and days of ignoring and carelessness, forgotten in a moment. This was God. These were his people. Punjabis, Pathans, so many different people, gathered in the same room, facing the same way. To Allah. Her heart overflowing with divine love, she said the takbeer.

Allah the Al-Mighty. Allah. Her heart swelled to such an extent she tought her chest would rip. She felt so light and yet so burdened at the same time. She felt as if she couldn’t have been closer to her Rubb, her sustainer than at that time. After so long, after so many prayers said in haste, today she wished time would stop. Today she felt as if she could pray for the rest of her life. Usually she said her prayers in haste, thinking about other worldly, petty matters. She said them as a ritual. But today she did not. A thought entered her mind. Could she, in front of all these people, be putting on an act? Showing herself as a devout muslim, in front of these strangers? That would be shirk. But then she realised that today it wasn’t a show. Today she was genuine. She didn’t pray slowly because she had to, she did it because she wanted to.

Women beside her came and went, and when she was done, she went outside too. She couldn’t help but feel content. She wondered who they were. The women, who prayed in that very room. She wondered what thier life was like. The woman in black, for instance. She had a red dupatta and perfectly polished nails. The woman in the black abaya, with the niqab. Running after her little children. The girl who couldn’t have been older than five. She wondered. 

Ok so I know this was very random but I just wanted to. I know I don’t post regularly but what can i do. I just dont feel inspired enough to write anything. The world seems so round. Anyways, bear with me. Until next time. Khudahafiz.

Tired. 

The sound of metal against metal and then against skin as conscious turned into subconscious. Losing reason to be overcome with feelings. To feel joy at another’s grief, even if it is joy for you. Of course you are not doing it deliberately. The other person just has to make every joyous occasion into a mourning. As metal slices into skin, you forget wethar it’s actually hurting or you are losing your senses to these feelings. Perhaps though it would be wise to wrap these impaired senses in a blanket. Perhaps it would be but only if I could wash this blood stained face. This doesn’t make sense. Where is the blood? A tide of unconsciousness washes over your entire being and consciousness resurfaces for the few moments the tide subsides. Watery eyes analysing the situation and concluding that the last test has left you tired. There is no other way to describe it. Yet of course this is not the end. So many tests to go, exams left but even thinking is such a burden! Trying to watch television is useless. How can one rebel against one’s own self? To bed, to bed, to bed! And the unconsciousness falls like the curtain that never fell when you were dying in that play back in seventh grade. 

Sunshine Blogger Award😳

Ok so it has been a week since Khadija nominated me for this so i better do it now😂. Thankyou Khadija for nominating me! This is my first award…. and well… 

The Rules:

 • Thank the person/persons who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.

 • Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.

 • Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.

 • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or on your blog.

Ok, so here goes….

 1. Who are you? If you have introduce yourself without the expectations and confines of people, (egs. careers, positions, jobs) what would you want a person to know you as?

I don’t really know? I mean i would definitely want them to know that i am not a nice person… and that making conversation is the last thing i want to do. But i guess it depends on the person too? Or maybe just as a good natured person who you can talk to and i will not judge you. 
2.  Describe a couple of small instances in life that make you genuinely happy 🙂

 This might be weird. Nice weather on the days i am completely free. Sitting in the fog at night. Breathing in the fog. Warm feet on cold days. Sitting in the window seat in the bus. Smelling the nice fresh air after it has rained. Drinking green tea made just the way i like it (which is rare). Waking up on time. Receiving a “wa Alaikum wassalam” from any of the 42 students in my class that i say salam to. Eating chocolate 😆 ok that’s enough…😅

3.  What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail? Would it be the same without            the challenge?

Flying. In all its forms. No, it wouldn’t be. Another thing i would attempt would be robbing a chocolatier. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

4.  What makes the people you look up to special?

Courage, determination, faith, patience. Personalities?

5. If you had the opportunity to address the entire world for 1 minute what would you                say?

That the world is bigger than your problems. And respect trees.

6. What is some integral part of your daily routine that without it, feels incomplete?

Ok so this is weird… but going to bed in my pyjamas. 

7.  What is a special memory you have of your childhood?

Just one? Well… once my Grandmother put me to bed and then brought me my warm milk. I didn’t want to get up because she was telling us a story and i was warm. So i tried to drink it lying down but obviously as i tilted the mug, the milk spilled on me and all over the bed where my sister and i were to sleep. I was four, i think. Nano wasn’t that happy about it but she didn’t say anything 😅
8.  What is something you love to do?

READ. Day dream.

9.  What is the best thing you’ve read in the past month?

*sighs* textbooks😞 But before that, I read And the Mountains Echoed. It was really touching.

10. If you could meet anyone from the past, who would it be and why?

The Prophet (P.B.U.H). Apart from him, Hazarat Umar(R.A.). No words.

More recently, Wasif Ali Wasif. I don’t know why. I only read one book of his. Also:

A great friend of my Great-Grandfather who I would like to meet. I’ve heard so much about him and he seems to be such an amazing personality. Learned, interesting, deep. Also, Wasif Ali Wasif was his friend. I only know him as “Abbas Saab”. Seemed like an adabi (literary) person.

11. Where would you like to travel to and why?

So many places. Canada, the Kalash valley, Pluto, this place called Deosai, Pluto, Hogwarts😂, Pluto. Yes, the planet. Like who wouldn’t? Idk why i have this thing for Pluto but I do. Also I’d love to go for an umrah… I think I need that spiritual uplift. 

Ok so for the nominations…. well all of you. All the blogs that actually read my posts are nominated. You people are amazing. If I have to be specific, well these blogs to name a few. But it is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. 

MuslimahMe

Revels

Hijabii Online

Khadija

Tam

Yusra

Inky

The Lunatic 

Anum

Rizwana

Khulood Baha

Maria

QUESTIONS: 

1. What was your first thought today? 

2. What do you eat when you’re upset?

3. How do you react to a situation you dont like?

4. Who is the one person you can talk to about anything?

5. Would you classiy yourself as a positive or a negative person?

6. Would you be hypocritically nice or savagely mean to a person you do not like but have to see everyday? If the person in question was unbearable?

7. What do you like about trees?

8. What do you think about the colour blood red?

9. What is your favourite kind of tea?

10. Would you rather be a scientist or the heir of a mysterious millionaire?

11. Who would you be if you could be anyone? Not an existing person, but some one you would want to be?