What is the point of it all? Why do we work so hard? Why do we dream?
The only thing that is sure in this life is death. So why do we work for this life? The test i have tomorrow, once upon a time a class fellow of mine was learning the same thing, memorising the same useless names of the same poets, and now? Well, today is her second night in her grave. May Allah grant her eternal peace.
But the point is, everything is about to finish. Laiba was once aspiring for something, she was working hard, and now what? Her death has taught me something valuable: Nothing matters. Everything is useless.
So why should I study today? I don’t even know if I will live to see the morning. That could have been me in her place. But it wasn’t. It was her.
Today as I sat in class, I realised I was alive. No, i did not feel full of life, I just felt… alive. And it made me wonder, what was it like to not be alive? All my life I have been alive, and what must it feel like to be on the other side of the border? To cross that point?
I looked around at the drones I called my class mates. Oblivious to my situation, lost in the not-so-deep expanses of the words written in those textbooks. A girl was crying hysterically. And she happened to be sitting on my left. Reason? Her test didn’t go so well.
Tell me, is that all there is to life? To work, and then achieve something, and then what? At some point in life, after what people call “Having Achieved Your Life’s Ambition”, your life does become ultimately purposeless. You lose all reason to live. Everyone expects old people to die and nobody is ever shocked at their death but if someone dies young, we do get shocked. I think the quality of your life is measured from the time you were born to the time you die. Not the fact that you had great ambitions, but the time you spent while you were alive, while you were not busy making plans for a future so distant and uncertain that nobody can see it.
So if your life ultimately becomes purposeless, then that means your life was purposeless from the very beginning. Suppose life becomes purposeless after retirement. Then, all that time you spent studying a particular subject to get that job and then all the while you were doing your job to get that promotion and etc. etc. becomes useless. Because in the end, you can occupy only so much space on that huge bed. You can only eat so much. You can only wear one pair of jeans at one time.
So the purpose of your life i.e. that promotion has finished. And then? Death? Because after you die, how long would your grave be? Two meters maximum? So all that you did, everything you were, all finished. Your accomplishments forgotten by the people, your family continues to eat, the sun rises…. nothing changes. So everything was useless. The world will be the same after I die.
So what remains? The Earth-about to perish. Dinosaurs-extinct. Trees? Cut down. Plastic? Degrades after only four hundred years. So what remains?
What was before remains afterwards. Allah.
“And I have not created the jinn and the men except that they should serve Me.” (Al-Quran)
*Please excsue all this randomness and haphazardness. My thoughts are just as unorganised as this piece here.